You want me to go to the bathroom where?!
I
married a farmer. Quite
literally. My husband grew up on 20 Mile
Farm here in Cincinnati. He was the 3rd generation of his family to work that land. But 20 Mile Farm is a story for another
day. Farming is relevant only in that it
emphasizes my husband’s approach to projects and his staunch unwillingness to
part with money. He comes from a long
line of German and Dutch frugal peeps.
These farmers don’t pay people to do anything.
But my
husband married an incompetent and spendy Greek. Here is a
quick example: in college I couldn’t rub
two nickels together. When Dad would
occasion to visit he would often give me 20 bucks. What did I do with $20? I did not run out & buy a bazillion raman noodle
packets and thereby feed myself for weeks.
No. What did dumb Spendy do? “Wooo hoo!
Dinner and drinks on me girls!” And
*poof* my golden ticket vanished.
Back to
the story. I moved into my husband’s
house, a 1960’s ranch with only 1 bathroom the day after we married. The
first in a long line of necessary renovations was the bathroom. The previous owners had sponge-painted it pink. I immediately slapped some
leftover paint I found in the garage just to cover up that hideousness. But, well, that was like putting lipstick on
a pig.
As
would become our habit, we discussed our options with his parents. After about 2 minutes of deliberation, mr. V and
his parents announced we would be doing the renovations ourselves. ‘Say what?!
But but but…can’t we just pay someone to do this quickly? How long will it take?! I don’t know how to do any of that!!!!’
When my protestations fell on deaf ears I
resorted to hysteria. ‘PEOPLE, where do
you expect me to pee?!!!’ As it turned out,
the backyard. FOR TWO WEEKS.
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mr. V & his mother - only evidence of sponge city sweetheart |
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I am an unwilling participant but quickly enjoying it with every swing |
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mrs. V caught getting her hands dirty. the horror. |
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Snipping tiles and filling in gaps |
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best deal - Costco vanity for fraction of the Resto Hardware price |
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New tub, tile and hardware |
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Current state - view from hallway |
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It is small & impossible to photograph |
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Tall Stacks artwork by Richard Mantia |
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Vanity |
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Not styled - dirty towels and bad light |
In the end, it was worth the hard work. It marked the beginning of my DIY ways. I learned how to tile, grout, drywall, soldier plumbing, cut crown molding. You know, all those finishy things that you take for granted when you walk into a bathroom. Unless you've done them yourself. Unless you've PEED in a bucket in the backyard for TWO WEEKS yourself.
kisses, mrs. V
1 comment:
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