10.02.2014

One Room Challenge Linking Event - Week One



What do you win?
Did you win last time?
Did you win the time before that?
Why are you doing it if you don’t win anything?

These are the kinds of questions you are likely to hear from friends and family if you participate in Calling it Home’s One Room Challenge™. 

If you do another one, I will break your fingers.
If you ignore me and do it again, I will divorce you.
If you completely disregard our 10 yr marriage vows and disobey me, I will cut off your wine supply.
I will not help you anymore.
I will not, absolutely paint another GD wall.
I am not swapping out any lights.
Do not buy another lamp or rug or piece of fabric.
I sanded your damn walls and hung your stupid, old light fixture…

These are also the kind of statements you are likely to hear from your spouse if you participate in Calling it Home’s One Room Challenge™.

6 weeks is no joke whether you are participating as a featured blogger or as a linking participant – as I have done both.  No matter.  It is a train wreck of real deal Holyfield fun.  In spite of threats of imminent divorce or people failing to understand the simple thrill of pulling a genie out of my hat in 6 weeks, I cannot deny my design junkie ways.  My nights will be filled with boozy anxiety for the next six weeks while I participate again in the ORC linking event.

The first time, as linking participant, I did my master bedroom: 







You can check that out here and here.

Last time, as a featured participant,  I did my kitchen:  





You can check that out here and here.

In both cases, it went down to the wire because I am a procrastinator extraordinaire and an indecisive fickle feck wit.  As a matter of fact, I decided to do this one exactly three days ago.  The mister is less than pleased.  He made me promise both times that I would not do another one.  But the ORC trials and tribulations are much like pregnancy and labor.  The further away you get from the aftermath, you think it wasn’t so bad/hard/difficult/insane/painful/divorce-inducing/neverhavingrelationsagain labor.  That’s where you would be wrong. 

Without further ado, I am tackling our bathroom but let me manage expectation up front.  I have no plans to do any major demo work.  The tile(s), vanity, and shower hardware all have to stay per the mister’s orders.  The toilet is a Toto and is the only muy bueno thing in the joint. Because it's a Toto and it flushes like the dickens.  No lazy river here.











Some might say ‘not so bad.’  A few, like my mister, might even say ‘not a finga!’  But I am here to tell you that I am over it.  Boring.  This was the absolute first DIY project my husband and I tackled right after we got married.  I did not even know how to use a power drill.  With one bathroom, it got sporty with a quickness.  That whole ‘don’t have a pot to piss in’ became reality for two solid weeks.  An orange Home Depot bucket in the back yard did the trick but it proved to be the first of many tenuous moments in our marriage involving DIY renovations.  Needless to say, by the time we got around to picking the fun stuff, I just wanted to use the loo.  A matching vanity/mirror situation sufficed along with a sad builder special vanity light fixture.  Little finishing details did not get completed and they have annoyed me to no end - things like gaps in the crown molding and bead board.  A patch in the dry wall near the light fixture that never got painted.  






Also, apparently I had a thing for chippy paint.  Where is my bird, you ask?  Um.  Why I thought to hang that dumb cage on the wall is beyond me.  In a fit of Cottage Living induced fantasy, I thought it was a terrific idea to use a fallen barn beam as my pooper paper holder and a random architectural piece to hold my towels.  Over it.

So  here is what I plan to do:  switch out boob and vanity lighting, vanity hardware and fingers crossed, faucet.  Get a new mirror because I hate the dumb matching mirror with the dumb ledge.  It is a gatherer of dust, toothpaste spit, and water stains.  Plus, we have plenty of counter space and drawers.  I felt like now might be a good opportunity to depart from my typically saturated color leanings and lighten things up a bit with a more neutral palette.  I would super love to switch out my bathroom door for one with a frosted window to allow more light into the very small space but after one afternoon of searching for vintage and new options, I soon discovered that with a smaller non-standard door it was a looney pipe dream. Instead, I might go even darker.  Yeah, fickle feck wit.  I figure two things:  a small space might as well be intimate and jewel-box like; secondly, I want my guests to feel glamorous and magnificent when they powder their noses in my one little water closet.  Who feels glamorous and magnificent in a milk carton?    Who feels glamorous during an anxiety ridden tinkle wondering about a missing bird?  But then again, I have been known to figure wrong a time or two.  Case in point, said dumb bird cage.

My inspiration looks and feels like this but as anyone can tell you who has followed along my boozy design rides, the plan changes quickly and often in these parts.  I found an incredible stash of vintage chinoiserie barkcloth fabric a few months back that I intended to make into a shower curtain.  Who knows if that will work out as it has damage in a few spots but it's got my head spinning for a fancy shower curtain sitch.  Come to think of it, this might be a lot like the time I painted the kitchen the same color as the kitchen.  That BM Smoked Oyster I picked is looking dangerously close to the BM Davenport Tan that is already on the wall.  Oy.  All I really know is that when I tell mister V that we are painting yet another room, another part of him will die inside the fire swamps of design despair while he curls up in a ball whimpering, ‘as you wish…’



1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

My process often starts with an inspiration board filled with beautiful things I cannot afford.  But the plan gives me the confidence to improvise on the fly when I see things that are similar in feel  but more affordable on the pocket book.  Most of the time, I cannot find exactly what I am looking for and will likely make it myself.  I have a loosey goosey plan for some such chicanery but it is way crazy, even for my standards, so I am keeping that one close to the vest, or the chesty larue, in my case, for now to see if I can even begin to pull that shiz off. Anywho, since I am not a professional, I can use all the help I can get.  I would love to hear what you would do in here.


Check back next week to see if I have done anything more than pop open a few wine bottles and in the meantime, let’s go see who else is playing…

All design, photos, styling and layouts by Emily Vanderputten unless otherwise noted

kisses,  mrs.

37 comments:

Kim said...

Ooh la la, mrs. V ... can't wait to see you do it!! I'll be drinking wine over the next 6 weeks as well ... just watching everyone panic!! xokim

SHERRY HART said...

Look....this is a perfect space to makeover so tell hubby to "bite me"....and become a team player or else. You can figure out the "or else". You are so like me....I was hemming and hawing about this ORC and then I drugged my sister...made her sign the papers and said "let's go!".

Krystine @ www.KrystineEdwards.com said...

This is going to be great! I laughed reading this! My husband has no clue what's going- he's used to me always changing everything in the house!

Kim@The Green Room Interiors said...

First of all your makeovers are the most epic to ever hit the ORC so whatever you say goes! I'm doing my hall bath without "remodeling" too. Just putting a new shade of lipstick on that sow. Happy you're participating again!!

kate@willowinteriors said...

Belly laughing over here at the risk we put to our marriages to do the ORC...so true! :) Now your bedroom and kitchen are some of my all time ORC favs so I know this bathroom is going to be fab. And I think I spy a lucite towel bar...sold!!! Good luck!

Kerry Steele- Design du Monde said...

Your results are always spectacular. I am looking forward to this.

Christine Dovey said...

It's like you always manage to take the thoughts right out of my head but make them infinitely funnier. The whole 'what do you win' thing...my family/real life friends maybe have asked me this 5000 times...hubs wanting a divorce etc...another 5000 times thanks to ORC murmerings...the Toto 'lazy river'...I'm currently on a weird mission very 'it's all OCD up in the ORC' mad search for the perfect damn toilet and all I'll ever be able to think when looking at them now is 'no damn lazy river thank you please.' Also...is it me or does you bathroom and it's annoying OK'ness/problems remind you very much of the same ones I have?!?! I think we're working on the same damn space. Most importantly though...I honestly/truly look forward to your posts like no others and would cry a thousand ugly tears if you weren't joining the fun as it were. SOOOOOOOO happy to be following you along on this hooligan ride. xoxo

MFAMB said...

girl please. once you pull off this child's play makeover drive your ass down to atlanta and HELP. ME. with my ORC.

Improvement List said...

If Westley and Princess Buttercup can survived the fire swamp...you and your husband can get through the ORC too!!! Just watch out for the ROUSes. But seriously...love the design direction you are going with this space. Your other rooms turned out so great, I can not wait to see what this one will look like six weeks from now.

pam {simple details} said...

Oh, I know that man who sews pillows is secretly excited to join in the fun again! You two kill it every time, and I'm expecting another ORC favorite from Mr & Mrs V!

home before dark said...

I'm glad Pam mentioned the sewing hubby. STILL jealous. This will be great. Love your style, your writing and, of course, your loveable, talented side kick.

Kimberlee Martin said...

That wallpaper....be-still my color loving heart! I've loved everyone of your room reveals and I'm sure this one will be no different! Good luck! (And I'm sure your husband will just grin & bear it the way mine does)

alison giese Interiors said...

At first glance at your board, I too thought you might be using the floral/toile as wallpaper. Which. Would be so, so good.
If not, I actually think I might go lighter with the paint. As much as I'm loving luxe darks these days, I just think you might enjoy going light and bright with it.
Regardless, it will be good. And reading your story will provide lots of entertainment for wimps like me who sit on the sidelines with dirty martinis.

xo,
ag

kcinteriors said...

You are hilarious and talented!! The perfect combo in my book. I completely get it with the husband stuff. That's why this one room challenge I'm going to do a little something for my mom in order to work my husband up for the next one room challenge. Can't wait to see this room transform. See ya bird cage.

Stacey {steward of design} said...

So funny! Glad you're doing the ORC again, and looking forward to the transformation.

Kristen @ Pursuing Vintage said...

You are so funny! I love your intro to this whole crazy-addictive process!
Your previous ORC's were awesome, so I can't wait to see what you do with this bathroom.

Decor To Adore said...

I absolutely loved your last space and cannot wait to see your gorgeous bathroom!

Amy C. said...

Wow!! Your designs are GLORIOUS! haha Beautiful stuff. Can't wait to see what you do! Good luck!!!

Amy C
www.ohamyrepurposed.com

Amy C. said...

Wow!! Your designs are GLORIOUS! haha Beautiful stuff. Can't wait to see what you do! Good luck!!!

Amy C
www.ohamyrepurposed.com

Mary Meyer said...

I'm so glad I found you (well- because you left a lovely comment on my post today-- thanks for that).
I love your other ORC rooms and I am so looking forward to this new one. You are freakin' hilarious to boot! Good luck with it all.

aquahaus said...

You are freaking hilarious. Great writing! So true about the pain easing with time, a la pregnancy. Not that I've ever been pregnant. ha! I too will be in a boozy state as well for the next 6 weeks. Your ORC rooms are always spectacular, so this will be no different.

Mariella Cruzado said...

haha! I can also hear my husband complaining about the light fixture or the wall paper or whatever happens this time. Your post is hilarious, but most importantly I ADORE how you use color! Bold and beautiful. I always go back to my neutral palette - will definitely try to learn to be more colorful from your process! Your previous projects are gorgeous, and I'm sure this bathroom will be too. xx.

Vanessa@decor happy said...

Hilarious and I can totally relate! That fabric is divine - too bad it may not work. Can't wait to see what you do. PS Thanks for stopping by my blog and I absolutely loved the wallpaper in your kitchen.

C a i t l i n said...

This is very amusing, truly. Too, too funny. This has got me thinking I don't ask enough of my husband..

tara martel said...

wellllll.....I laughed throughout that entire post and will probably continue to laugh randomly throughout the day. I love your writing style and cannot wait for bathroom updates as well as witty banter. good luck!! xoxo.

Linda {Calling it Home} said...

You know you rock this! I can always count on you for that splash of chinoiserie. I had a 'chippy' paint thing going on, too. I guess we are in recovery together.

Julie Taylor and Danni Greenwalt said...

I love what you did in your bedroom and kitchen...cant wait to see your bath!

Melissa @aprudentlife said...

Loved every bit of your post! Your bold design choices are so inspiring because I have an awful tendency to go safe. I can't wait to follow your progress!

Carol@6WilsonBlog.com said...

That's a great space to do! I'm excited to see what you do without major changes, because it's real life. Good luck!!

Elizabeth @ The Little Black Door said...

I never realized we married the same man, but it sure as hell sounds like we did. I'll keep your cocktail glass filled while you do the heavy lifting. And if you are getting rid of your toilet paper holder/library holder my husband will take it. He finds it to be glorious.

Kris @ Driven by Décor said...

Gorgeous plans! I will be grabbing my glass of wine and following along!

Brenda said...

I think we all fell in love with your husband when you wrote during the last ORC, 'My Mister sews.' If your bathroom is anything like your kitchen (which I covet) it will be outstanding. Looking forward to see what you do.

Carrie @ Cosy Carolina Interiors said...

Woohoo! Can't wait to see what happens! Also, you'll have to give me some tips on convincing an unenthusiastic spouse to go along... Love that design board, and pretty much everything you do! :)

Erin Dove said...

Can't wait to see how the bathroom turns out after seeing your first two ORC rooms. So gorgeous! Love your colors and the vision you have for the bathroom. Looking forward to watching the progress. Good luck :)

Tiffany said...

You are such a pattern mix master! Despite not changing a few things (which are gorgeous as is), this room will be amazing. I know this because I've seen what you do.

Hannah Josephine said...

I love the dark green color of your master bedroom! That colors with the leopard is fantastic!

www.jjfaust.com

sarahsofiaproductions said...

I started following you last ORC round as when I was a linking participant and excited to be joining your talent again this round! WOW, amazing past ORC projects. I hear ya on wanting to make it a space that you love, not just live with. You're inspiration/ mood board says glam! Can't wait to see what you do! Good luck