“I’ve
never been a millionaire
but I just know I’d be darling at it.”
Dorothy Parker
You
know what else I’d be just darling at? Not being smug. How silly of me to brag last
week about being ahead of schedule. Well, Reality, that prickly priss,
has expertly aimed her fist at my face.
In other words, I woke up today and realized it’s week three of The One Room Challenge™ - the dreaded mid-point where all delusions of special projects
and preparedness wither and die. It’s a
lot like having a dream about showing up to school with no clothes on and
realizing that you have a chemistry test for which you did not prepare. Please tell me this happens to you too.
Well,
let’s get right to it. If you are just
tuning in, I am participating as a guest participant in the The One Room Challenge™ hosted by Calling It Home and media partner House Beautiful.
If you have missed any of the action you can click on the links below:
Last
week I was confidently channeling Dorothy Draper with all the chutzpah of a
newly minted bourgeoise. This week I’m
all razor tongued and sharply sad like Ms. Parker,
lamenting whether I can afford lunch at
the Algonquin. This is due in large part
to the realization that my timeline for the ORC is as short as my wallet is
deep. It is that age old conflict of man
v. himself, or in my case, Emily v. herself. Or Dorothy v. Dorothy. Wait, what the hell are you even talking about, Emily?
Glad
you asked. To put it plainly, my tastes outpace my means in this time frame. Common lamentations. The
source of my conflict, while simple to comprehend on
the surface, is not a simple case of wanting luxury
for luxury sake. Rather, having grown
up among artisans and design-minded people, I have a deep appreciation for
craftmanship and bespoke detailing. I admire
the subtle, yet genius strokes that
immediately convey a sense of place, and a personal way of living. These things take time and money – both of
which are in short supply here. So the
challenge becomes - how to bring those bespoke, designer touches into a tight,
budget-driven timeline without risking things veering off into an episode of
DIY Gone Wild?
Design
should be as simple as an extension
of the way one hopes to live. And given enough time, one can
generally
find
solutions. However, in 6 weeks, you are absolutely
forced to make sacrifices – especially if one hasn’t prepared in advance and we
all know I
don’t
prepare - for propriety
sake. As
in, ‘I proclaimed I’d finish the damn room
and
so
I
will.’
So it's all 'pull up my big girl panties and get on it with it' vibes over here. I'll get there - I usually do - but not without some bellyaching first.
As a reminder, here is the initial plan:
As a reminder, here is the initial plan:
No
paint on the walls as of yet. The barely there Sherwin Williams pink in the plan above that I was so sure of which was color-matched to the Rhododendron
fabric, has
been
outvoted in favor of a Farrow and Ball color that is decidedly more pigmented and purple. The
horror – I can’t even. I have to concede that in situ the
pink does not have the depth I’m going after.
The
pink ikat fabric I ordered for a custom shade and pillow arrived as black fabric,
with a handwritten tag identifying it as ‘pink.’ Seriously? After
scrambling
to finally
get the actual
fabric
I ordered,
I may not get the custom work back in time for the reveal.
Still
trying
to source
a cozy, affordable reading
chair. I am holding out for a
serendipitous high-end consignment find or floor model. I paid a fortune for my daughter’s modern
glider, and while it has held up frame wise, the upholstery is totally wrecked
after 9 yrs. No time for a custom slipcover. Sacrifices. Same
goes
for a
nightstand. Total
crap options out there that are budget-friendly.
In
news that resembles something close to hope and progress, I have painted the
desk ( and by me, I mean the Dervish
with heavy art direction from her father ) sourced at Home Goods for a
song.
For the desk chair which I found at a
local consignment shop (and purchased for a literal
fraction of the new one I sourced online) I purchased the herringbone fabric
to reupholster it from the Fabric Shack, my local fabric source for many projects.
Also working on what I am hoping is a cool
Draper-esque
overhead light fixture. Cross your fingers that electrical combustion does not ensue. Arrived: headboard, lamp, mirror, rug, accent pillow.
Still
up for consideration is the closet storage solution which is coming dangerously
close to reaching reno territory as the closet door openings in this ding dong ranchburger
are non-standard size which means we have to rip down standard doors or cut
into walls…so much for no reno.
Let's revisit the bedroom checklist to check progress:
In my mind, I had accomplished much more but I think that's a function of scrambling around like a chicken.
Left to do - quite a punch list but one that I think is still manageable:
Lots left to do with little time. Cross all of your digits for me - when the mister starts to sew and upholster things get sporty - as in me hovering over spendy fabric and him telling me to chill the *eff* out. Yes, he does the sewing - benefits of a custom car hobby.
I am hoping that rather than lamentations, we have struck on a few creative solutions that will deliver the high-end bespoke Dorothy Draper look that I am after on my Dorothy Parker budget. I have splurged where I thought it most impactful and found incredible deals that require a bit of elbow grease. In exchange for willingly helping me through another ORC, the mister has made me swear on all things holy and dear that I will stick to a damn budget. Ok, fine, fine. But let's be clear: I'd still be just darling as a millionaire too.
I am hoping that rather than lamentations, we have struck on a few creative solutions that will deliver the high-end bespoke Dorothy Draper look that I am after on my Dorothy Parker budget. I have splurged where I thought it most impactful and found incredible deals that require a bit of elbow grease. In exchange for willingly helping me through another ORC, the mister has made me swear on all things holy and dear that I will stick to a damn budget. Ok, fine, fine. But let's be clear: I'd still be just darling as a millionaire too.
Looking forward to catching up with you next week as well as checking in on the progress of the 20 featured designers as well as the rest of my fellow guest participants!
